We made a trip to Wal-mart this afternoon to pick up a few necessities. We swung by the brownie aisle and picked up a box of Ghirardelli brownies. Hey, I did say necessities, didn't I? Knowing I had used the last egg the night before, we headed to the dairy section, and grabbed the first carton of eggs without any broken ones. We rounded the corner of the next aisle and I noticed that Alyssa was near tears and really upset.
I asked her what was wrong and she stated that it was the two girls on the last aisle while I was getting the eggs. She said that they looked at her, then whispered and giggled to each other, then gave her this "real popular kinda look".
Can I just tell you that this absolutely broke my heart. Not so much that the girls were talking about and laughing at her-I don't even know if they were- but that she felt that they were. That is such an awful feeling, that can stick with you even if the girls really had never even looked at her. I can remember as a kid and teenager, feeling so self-conscious, about nothing specifically, but stared at and uncomfortable just the same. I hated that feeling, you know when it seems like that certain few people are looking right at you, talking about you. I think it's something that most young girls experience at some point,(if you haven't, you were probably in that certain few that were looking at me and talking about me,)but that doesn't make it anymore fun.
So what did I do, how did I respond? First I told her that they were probably laughing at me because, "I have on a black shirt with brown pants, and that is sooo not cool". Yep, that was true, I was wearing black with brown. But she responded that I was getting the eggs and that they weren't even looking my way. So then I brought out the big guns.
Alyssa is pretty mature and sensible. She has accepted Jesus as her Savior and is learning what it means to have a relationship with God.
So I asked her, "If those girls, were doing that, do you think that their hearts are where they need to be?" She replied, "No, ma'am". Me, "So where would you rather be, where you are, or where they are?" Her, "Where I am." And her demeanor completely changed. I hope that she can understand, and it is such a hard thing to grasp, that her value and her worth doesn't come from the "popular girls" or boys, for that matter. I want her to know that she is beyond valuable in my eyes and above all, in God's eyes.
I know that today was a tiny instance in the grand scheme of things. But the look in her eyes said that a bit of her self-confidence was chipped away. And so it begins...the fight for young girls to love themselves for who they are not who others say they are.
It's so much easier when they are younger and get their feelings hurt because someone won't share their toys.